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For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs dark suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory proves the existence of dark. That dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of The Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take, for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is much less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all of the dark that has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black, because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat. The Dark Sucker Theory is proven even better by the story of the creation of the world. There was already plenty of dark when God took some of it away. It is way easier to take away something existing than it is to make something new. God probably took some dark away and placed it over some more existing dark to form what we call a black hole. Where does all the dark come from? The black hole is just dark on dark, and dark on dark obviously creates unlimited amounts of dark. Therefore, the dark is produced by black holes at enormous speed and the dark suckers suck the dark at a slower speed. That is why there is a lot more dark in space than lack of it. But why are there more natural dark suckers in space than there are dark producers? Because the more dark producers emit dark, the more dark there is. So the dark suckers suck all the dark, and, like the manmade dark suckers, they will run out of storage for the dark. That is why stars burn out. They are full of dark, and cannot suck any more. Once in a while, these natural dark suckers will suck way too much dark, and create another dark producer, or black hole. Thankfully, when they suck too much dark, it also sucks away more of the existing dark, leaving a space empty of dark. This creates another dark sucker, which will soon suck more dark from our universe. God has created a wonder in His never-ending cycle of dark. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. |