So Long Since I Held You.
The Price We Pay
I built you up
Only to tear you apart.
I did the unthinkable
When I broke your heart.
Should I fight for you back
Or should I just let go?
What should I do?
I just don't know.
I hate myself
For knowing you I've lost.
I want to make it right,
But it scares me at what cost.
Panic
I don't know what
is left or right
or what is up or down.
All I know is that
I find myself
hurtling towards the ground.
What I thought was love
was forgiving
but all I've found is pain.
When you hurt the ones
you truly love
there's nothing you can gain.
To err is human
to forgive divine
or so it's often said.
But I have hurt
my greatest friend
I wish that I were dead.
Failure
I always swore
Failure is not an option.
But I failed.
Now what do I do?
Setting things right
Feels about as possible
As bringing myself
Back from the dead.
I am no saviour
Nor am I a god.
I am only a meager human
Trying to make some sense out of things.
Diagnosis
I never meant to hurt you.
So why do you hurt me back?
Even if you scarred my face
I would never retaliate
Because I love you.
You don't purposefully hurt
The ones you love.
I Need You
How I long to be with you
Whoever you are.
I feel there is somebody
Who will fill all my dreams.
Although I've never met you
I know you well already.
I try to fill the void
That only you can fit.
Nothing satisfies my pain.
I wish to know you.
I wish my life were whole.
But I remain alone for now...
Wishing -
Waiting.
rest easy
my love...
for i think
of nothing else
but you
and your kind
lips
aflame with
peace like
the guns of war
after the day
is through
worry not
about the
future and
things to come
plan not
for plans fail
and dreams change
and so do we
but i will be
always there
gazing into your
eyes
and lips
aflame
and eyes
ablaze
your beautiful
smile
oh god
that smile
a firefly in
the night
a shining
star
glowing twice as
bright
maybe three
you may
be gone
and so
might i
or not but
who knows
what the future
holds for you
and me
i think we
all know
the answer
to that question
better than
we do our
own selves
but rest easy
rest well
rest gentle
my love
and awaken
to a new
day and the
same old sun
shining brightly
as bright
as your heart
One Night
I held you close
For a whole night through
Nothing more
Just holding you near
And when I awoke
To find it not true
But all a dream
I shed a tear
Always Fade
The warmth of your smile
taunts me.
I sit stale and stagnant,
afraid of my pride.
To wonder what you're thinking;
And hate what I am dreaming.
Dreams never pass,
but always fade away.
So here I stay,
Thinking of you.
Let's Pretend
Just for a bit...
- that I am the one you
want to grow old with.
- that you and I will
be together forever.
- that I can
make you happy.
Now let's pretend
that you love me.
Petrified
Something streams from inside me,
I don't know what or how to say.
Is it love or fear or pain or just
A giant combination of everything?
I want to express something, anything
But whenever you are there and I have
The opportunity, I shut down inside.
All I can do is look longingly at you.
It has been far too long for this
To happen. In the end, I will likely,
Simply keep it from taking place;
Not by any will of my own...
Perhaps this feeling inside
Is just self-loathing due
To my own lack of expression
Of my honest love for you.
I Am Sorry I Ramble
Sanctity in being
who I am and who I know I am.
Knowing that you are
who you say you are.
And not having any say
in what I do or have become.
Forever feeling empty
until you are beside me.
Instead of being happy
in thinking of the past.
I fight for what I want
and what I feel is right.
And without you beside me
there is no end in sight.
You say you'll never leave
and that I know is true.
I want you to be happy
but what else can I do?
And so I wait forever
for no one knows how long.
And pray to god that we are right
and everyone else is wrong.
I Long For You Each Day
As the memory fades away
The feeling comes in strong
And the longing in my heart
Hurts so good and for so long
As hard as it is without you
Loving you comes easy to me
I used to feel you in my arms
Now only in my heart and mind
I needn't look for any more
You're all I want to find
I can not have you here
But I have you and you have me.
Assurance
If I say that I love you just once more,
will you promise to never go?
I could kiss your lips a thousand times,
and still, I'd never know...
if you truly intend to be by my side
from this moment through til the day I died.
So I'll tell you I love you just once more,
and pray that you'll never go.
When I Fell
When I fell,
I broke more than
I ever knew I could.
When I fell,
I could not get back
to my feet on my own.
When I fell,
you picked up the
pieces of my heart.
When I fell,
in love with you,
you gave me life.
For My Dear
How I long so very much
to hold you in my arms.
I long so much
to kiss your lips
and taste your pleasant charms.
To feel you pressed
Against my chest
Your breath upon my skin.
Oh the hurt just to possess
This longing deep within.
I Fell For You
Because of the way you look at me
The way you gaze longingly into my eyes
I fell for you.
Because of the way you care for me
The way you desire intently to make me happy
I fell for you.
Because of the way you treat me
The way you make me feel like the greatest man alive
I fell for you.
Because of the way I feel around you
The way I long to hold you in my arms
I fell for you.
Because of the way you are
Because of who you are
I fell for you.
The Girl With the Pac-Man Earrings (9 June 2005)
I was old, she was young.
Not much you can do about that,
but try to look into those eyes
and not fall head over heels insane.
There she sat, calmly between my legs
the glare of the sun making her squint a little.
"I love you" I said. "I love you too" she replied.
"Yes, but I love you more." Ah, I felt so young.
"Please don't go." I begged of her
with more of my heart than she even knew.
"I have to, but I will return."
I placed my hands on her shoulders and kissed her.
I knew she was telling the truth,
but my heart ached like it could die.
She smiled as I took a picture
that will last forever in my soul.
A few more little kisses, smiles, tears,
and a couple playful pets... and she was gone.
It wasn't the last time I ever saw that girl,
but my heart ached like it could die.