Case #3 - What's Lost Is Lost
"Never heard of it," I said smartly, yet feeling a bit dumb.
"Not many have, but this is almost definitely one of them." I thought about asking him how he knew this information, but he was going to tell me anyways. I just knew it. "Here, I'll tell you how I know this information." I was right. I'm always right... Well, maybe not always, but most of the time... Sometimes I'm almost completely right about things, and I'm somewhat certain this was one of those times. I've been known to be wrong though.
The stout little man prattled on. “This is most definitely a lost spoon of Tawlanok. I know because I came from there.”
“Fascinating.” I was not at all fascinated. Mostly I was simply impatient and wanted to know how much cash I could get from this lost spoon. It was just then that it dawned on me. “You do realize that that spoon there in your hands is not exactly lost, right?”
Franco stood for a moment staring at the spoon, a slight look of confusion on his face. His reply came in a voice slightly weaker and far more timid than before. “No, no, I’m fairly certain this is one of the lost spoons.”
“But it’s not lost. It’s right there in your hand.”
“Well, it was lost, at the very least.” He was backtracking. I had him right where I wanted him. “It was lost, and apparently you found it.”
Damn. He was right. I had found it. I found it right there lying on the ground outside my apartment building. Either way, I might still be able to get something for it, lost or not. I decided to try my luck.
“Well, what do you suppose it’s worth? Perhaps there is a sort of reward in place for whoever managed to find it…” When all else fails, go the passive-aggressive route. That’s what my mother taught me.
“Oh this is priceless.” Damn. No price, no reward. “All of Tawlanok holds these spoons in high regard! Why, the provisional government would potentially shower you with riches if you were to return this spoon to them.”
Riches. I could use some of those. I was on the right track.
“Well hand me back the spoon I found and I shall return it to them forthwith!” Sometimes I like to use words like forthwith, because it makes me sound pretty educated, I’d like to think.
“Oh I can give you back the spoon, no problem,” started the ball of Franco. “but I don’t think you can return it to the people of Tawlanok.”
“And why not?” I thought as I asked aloud, “And why not?”
“Well, because much like this spoon once was, so is Tawlanok.”
His answer left me pretty confused. “I have no idea what you mean by that,” I decided to tell him.
“Tawlanok is lost.” Was everything lost these days? It certainly seemed to me like things were just going missing left and right around here now. Franco continued on without any urging from me. “You see, I am from Tawlanok. I came here fifteen years ago, and I can’t find my way back.”
“So it was you who lost it.” I was starting to get fed up with Franco and his weird, cryptic, occasionally moronic talk.
“Well, yes. I suppose so.”
“And just like I found the lost spoon,” I was building to something here. “I will be the one to find Tawlanok!” I had finally found a mystery to solve. Either that or I was just very bored. Also, I’m fairly certain that I just wanted to show this weird little man how much better than him I am.
Yes, I am fairly certain it was all just to boost my own ego.
“Take me there at once!” I shouted at the owner of the pawn shop.
“Take you where?” he replied, acting just more than a tad baffled.
“To Tawlanok, you buffoon…” Had he been paying attention at all to our conversation? “You must take me to Tawlanok at once!”
“I told you not even a few moments ago that Tawlanok is lost… quite possibly forever. I could not take you there even if I wanted to, which I very well do not.”
I was shocked at his sudden rude behavior. I decided it best to play it down and just work on removing myself calmly from this conversation. “Well then bully to you, you snide little man! I hope a walrus eats your face!” I calmly stormed out of the establishment as violently as possible, letting the door slam as calmly as I could to cause several glass figurines to break in the process.
As I walked away in a huff, I worked to collect myself from all this calm and began to think to myself aloud and not at all in my head, “I don’t believe I ever found out if the man even had any pawns for sale… Well it’s no matter. I suppose I had best be getting to finding this Tawlanok place after all.”
TO BE CONTINUED...
Read the growing adventure HERE!