Tuesday, January 12, 2010

0008: Gamera Vs. Guiron

Giant turtles doing gymnastics on a far-away planet, in...

MST3k, Experiment #0008

Gamera Vs. Guiron:

Three children, two boys and a girl, stumble upon a flying saucer. The boys both step in without hesitating, and are whisked away to a planet in Earth's orbit but on the exact opposite side of the Sun. Inhabiting this planet are two women with Midwestern accents, who hypnotize the children to find they fantasize about milk, donuts, and Gamera, our favorite hero turtle. The women simply want to eat their brains. Back home, no one will believe the little girl's story of alien abduction, not even Officer Concha (pronounced "Cornjob"). Finally, Gamera rescues the children while fighting Guiron, a monster with a giant knife for a nose. Gamera kills Guiron while doing gymnastics on a parallel bar and takes the kids home, where the kids hope for peace, understanding, and the end of traffic accidents.

This is one messed up movie. Firstly, the dubbing is done in the worst broken English I have ever heard, with lines being read as if from a 4-word-at-a-time teleprompter. Inflection is in the wrong place, with random pauses and exclamations in the middle of sentences. It's just so! Dreadful I can. Hardly stand... It!

But the most messed up part comes when Guiron, a giant monster with a HUGE blade for a face, cuts off a silver Gaos's wings... beheads him... and then proceeds to slice his body up like bread. Thafuh?!

Honestly though, I'd have to say this is my personal favourite of all the Gamera films... quite possibly because of how stupid it really is. Even the music is kooky and lame, but incredibly fun in a weird sorta way.

As for the episode itself, it's nothing really special... funny, but nothing really stood out. It is, however, the first time Crow calls the mads "dickweeds" ...a running gag through several seasons.

Also, we find out that the rockets on the Satellite of Love are controlled by their TV ratings. As far as I know, we don't hear this bit of information ever again, but it's something I enjoy when they mention the fact that it's "just a show..."

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