Thursday, January 28, 2010

0018: The Million Eyes Of Su-Muru

"This is a very hard role for Frankie... He's working without Annette."

MST3k, Experiment #0018

The Million Eyes Of Su-Muru:

Frankie Avalon and George Nader (that guy from "The Robot Monster") are a couple of wise-cracking, swingin' secret agents. Their enemy is Shirley Eaton as Su-Muru, who plans to remove all of the men who are currently in power and replace them with her army of women, most of who are shown in skimpy (for 1967) bikinis or mini skirts, and who can all perform complex tasks such as break a man's neck with their thighs. Avalon and Nader make "friends" with several members of Su-Maru's army, then invade with the local army and kill the rest of them.

I'm too tired to really go in-depth on this piece of crap...  I will, however, say that this movie had some of the worst framing of any movie I have ever seen.  Many times, there would be no one on screen; just a static image of a door while someone off-screen talked.  Most of the time though, we'd see a nose, mouth or chin... and maybe a hand come in the shot every so often.  I am guessing it was filmed in wide-screen, and then cropped without pan-scan.  I just don't know.  It was dreadful.

Well, of course, there were a LOT of Subaru references in the riffing... and the only thing of note that I recall is that Joel made quite possibly the most racist joke ever made on MST3k: "I wonder if all million eyes of Su-Muru are slanted."

I don't remember much more from this episode... I think I zoned out half-way through.  That's just how exciting the movie was.

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