An asteroid worth millions. A robbery. A murder. Moon Zero Two:
A space salvage expert and his partner become involved with a group of criminals intent on hijacking a small asteroid made of sapphire and crashing it into the moon for later recovery. The only place that they can bring the asteroid down without drawing attention to themselves is a far side mining claim. But first they must dispose of the miner. Little known to them, however, is the fact that the miners sister has hired the same salvage team to help her locate her missing brother.
Alright, I'm not usually one for completely quoting someone else's review of movies for my entire post, but the entry at the MST3k Wiki just about sums this movie up perfectly:
Imagine what would happen if Rowan and Martin were hired to film a Maverick episode using sets from 2001: A Space Odyssey
Well, Moon Zero Two is even worse than that.
What passes for a plot exists only to tie together a string of scenes that chock full of 60s cliches, flat characters and outrageous music.
By the time you see a group of implausibly attired and impossibly vacuous models playing "MOON"-opoly with a purple-shirted eye-patched bearded and ugly bad guy (the 'Baron') in a scene that makes James Bond's villains look realistic, you'll just shrug your shoulders and say, "It figures."
When dancers appear on stage wearing cowboy hats the size of Volkswagen Beetles, you'll be long past the point of caring.
The plot, such as it is, revolves around a down on his luck captain Kemp (a limp haired goob who was the first man on Mars, or so goes his backstory), anyway, the extravagantly foreheaded Kemp is hired by the Baron to crash an asteroid into the far side of the moon--provided he makes it look like an accident. Meanwhile, the Baron has also made a miner on the far side of the moon disappear in what appears to be an accident. Will these two plots collide? Of course they will. Will the denouement be paint-by-numbers and flavorless? Of course it will.
The movie's soundtrack? It's brassy, but not in a good way. No, no, no, certainly not in a good way. If Herb Alpert heard this soundtrack, he'd probably take his trumpet out to the driveway and back his car over it.
Yeah, so the host segments were top-notch, especially the zero-gravity fist-fight. I think this episode may be the first time we really see one of their many little "plays" that Joel (eventually Mike) and the bots put on... but I could be wrong on that. Either way, this is one of the better episodes from season one(1) and I definitely look forward to Shout! Factory releasing this someday.
Favourite line: "Okay, you're twelve. I'm a hundred. I get it already."