Wednesday, March 24, 2010

0302: Gamera

MST3k, Experiment #0302

See Gamera...Destroy Entire Cities! Attack from Outer Space! Fight the Mightiest Armies!  Gamera.

This is the first movie starring the oversized flying turtle named Gamera, Friend to All Children. The movie opens as a mysterious jet is flying over the Arctic, so a general orders fighters to shoot it down. Unfortunately, the jet was carrying a nuclear bomb and the atomic blast from its crash awakens a prehistoric monster, played here by Gamera. Gamera first destroys an ice-cutting model research ship and then immediately heads to Japan to destroy more things. In Japan, a short-shorts-wearing, turtle-obsessed boy named Kenny is saved by Gamera – after Gamera first almost kills him – marking the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Kenny is allowed into the inner circle of power in Japan due to his association with Gamera and tries to interfere with any plans to destroy his giant turtle friend. Finally, the scientists come up with the "Z Plan," in which Gamera is to be imprisoned in a giant rocket and launched to Mars.

I briefly reviewed this movie back in the KTMA season, but I really don't feel like going to see what I said...  I am sure I complained at great length about the bratty little kid Kenny, who they just happen to let in to top secret government military facilities.  I hate Kenny.  In fact, it's because of this movie that I cringe whenever I meet anyone named Kenny.  (Sorry, Kenny.)  This kid is a fucking moron...  Why does the government let him constantly get in the way and ruin projects that obviously cost millions upon millions of Yen?!  Was the Japanese government really that incompetent??  Actually, why the hell did ANYONE put up with Kenny?!  Unless he was born retarded, so everything he did or said just comes across as "stupid cute," I don't see any reason why every person he came into contact with didn't just immediately give him a giant closed-fisted thwack to the head.  "I know he must be good. He and Tibby are from the same family, I just know it!" ... **THWACK**

I am very sure I at least mentioned Z Plan.  I love Z Plan.  The best part about Z Plan is that everyone in the movie seems to immediately know what it is, without anyone ever explaining it.  Even when the plan takes effect, and I guess it works, there is no real explanation as to what just happened, or if they actually planned it that way.  Sure, they somehow lure the giant, fire-breathing, flying turtle-monster onto a platform, and then they sealed him up into the tip of a rocket...  Did they just have that hollow-tipped rocket lying around?!  Better yet, for a hole that deep, with that much infrastructure enclosing it, they must have planned the capture of Gamera for at least ten(10) to twenty(20) years.  This means Z Plan, which no one knows what it really is, has been in preparation for a good decade at least, YEARS before Gamera was known.

I guess maybe they had Z Plan there due to all the other random giant monsters that come and attack Japan's cities.  The way they were all excited about it, and the general population was infinitely knowledgeable on a large scale...  I'd say this plan was just a huge news item years ago when protestors were questioning the monetary value of such a huge and seemingly useless project.  I can see the "Z Plan = No Plan" signs right now.  And now, with the big turtle knocking everything over, everyone just knew "Hey! We have that Z Plan lying around with the rocket... We can use THAT finally!!!"  ...and so they set off to lure the lumbering beast to the "top secret" facility, where little Kenny was able to get front row seats to see his beloved Gamera fired off into the great unknown.

As you can see, this movie upsets me greatly.

The episode was a classic...  Comparing this to the aforementioned KTMA episode, there is a HUGE difference when the show is actually written, as opposed to just improvised.  The riffs are far better and come at a much greater pace.  The host segments are superb, and we get a lovely famous song "Tibby, Oh Tibby."  Although sung by Servo, it was still very obvious to me that the song was written by Mike Nelson (who physically appeared as Gamera in another segment).  He has a certain feel to his writing that is easily recognisable to fans like me.  Of course, the song was mocked incessantly by Crow, and was followed up with Crow interjecting "Do you realise we just saw a robot sing a love song to a turtle?"

Episodes like these are a testament as to why all the fans wish for official DVD releases of the Gamera movies.  One can only hope.


Favourite line:  "Burn everything!"