Tuesday, April 13, 2010

0313: Earth Vs. The Spider

MST3k, Experiment #0313

Using Your Voice
.  Professor E.C. Buehler tells us how to be effective speakers. He has a nifty wire rack to display his points on, and places an emphasis on being heard, understood, and especially "pleasing".

50 Tons of Creeping Black Horror! It Must Eat You to Live!  Earth Vs. The Spider.

Out with her friend Mike Simpson looking for her father who had not returned home the previous night, Carol Flynn finds his abandoned pickup truck. They decide to search nearby caves thinking the man may have sought shelter there. Inside however, they find a giant spider web and soon come face to face with the giant creature itself. With the help of their high school chemistry teacher, Art Klingman, they convince the police to search the caves. They spray DDT forcing the spider out of its lair and thinking it's dead, transport it to the local High School. Re-animated, the creature is soon wreaking havoc in the community. Learning that the creature has returned to its cave, the police decide to blow-up the entrance not realizing that Carol and Mike are also inside looking for the birthday gift Carol's father bought for her.

This is the favourite episode of one of my friends... Every time I watch it, I am insanely tempted to agree with him!!!  We're given one of the funniest educational shorts in the collection, and we're thrown an awesomely bad movie.  The riffing is top notch throughout the entire episode, and all the segments are classic.  So classic, in fact, that there's even some season one(1) references.

Okay, so the short...  Seriously, this one kills me!  "Uhhh, yeah, that's it... they attacked us, yeah."  Oh golly, so many quotable lines...  "Do I please you?! Am I pleasing??"  And every so often, I enjoy throwing out a reference to the "nice wire rack" from the short.

The movie is one dumb heap... I love all the process shots of the spider crawling along, superimposed over the film.  The best part though is when the high school band and drama club decide to play and dance in the gymnasium, despite the huge, massive, seemingly dead spider lying not even a metre away.  Why the hell would anyone do that?!  Oh no, it woke up the huge spider, and now it's attacking us!!!  Who didn't see THAT coming?!  I mean, seriously... even if I wasn't in a movie, I wouldn't go near a giant spider no matter how dead I thought it was.  But hey, what are you gonna do??

Ahhh the host segments...  Of course we all love the Spydor band segment, but my favourite is still the bots' reports at the end of the movie.  I can't hear Bert I. Gordon's name without thinking of Crow, mispronouncing it as "Bert I. Goron" and writing about The Attack of The Citizen Kane.

Of note are the few references to his own movies Gordon shoved into the film.  And they really aren't subtle either.

Favourite line:  "You smell like chicken."

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