Thursday, September 30, 2010

0808: The She-Creature

MST3k, Experiment #0808

Hypnotized! Reincarnated as a monster from hell! The She-Creature.

Using hypnosis, Dr. Carlo Lombardi claims that he can have his patients regress and recover memories from their past lives, thereby proving that reincarnation exists. He also claims that the spirit of these past lives can be brought forth to take physical form.. A series of violent murders by a creature that seems to disappear into the sea suggests that Lombardi's claim may be correct. The medical and scientific community believe him to be a complete fraud but one enterprising businessman sees the opportunity to make a small fortune with Lombardi's ability.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

0807: Terror From The Year 5000

MST3k, Experiment #0807

From Time Unborn ... A Hideous She-Thing! Terror From The Year 5000.

Prof. Erling and his financial backer Victor build a prototype time machine to snatch objects from the past. Latest find, a statuette, radiometrically dates to 5200 AD! When this draws colleague Richard Hedges to the island lab, Erling reveals that 20th-century objects put in the machine seem to be "traded" for analogous future objects by intelligent life. And on the sly, Victor's been trying to get a living visitor. Does the future need help, or is the present in danger?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

0806: The Undead

MST3k, Experiment #0806

Terror... that screams from the grave! The Undead.

Two psychical researchers procure the services of a lady of the night and send her back in time under hypnosis. She finds herself in the body of a past existence - a woman in medieval times waiting to be beheaded as a witch. By avoiding this fate she unwittingly starts to alter history.

Obligation

I am a day late on this one, but here it is... This week's poem!!! Wooo!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

0805: The Thing That Couldn't Die

MST3k, Experiment #0805

The grave can't hold it ...nothing human can stop it! The Thing That Couldn't Die.

A psychically gifted young woman discovers a centuries-old crate buried on her aunt's ranch. Opening it, her family discovers the living head of Gideon Drew, a 16th century devil worshiper who was beheaded by Sir Francis Drake.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

0804: The Deadly Mantis

MST3k, Experiment #0804

This Was the Day That Engulfed the World in Terror! The Deadly Mantis.

The calving of an Arctic iceberg releases a giant praying mantis, trapped in suspended animation since prehistoric times. It first attacks military outposts to eat their occupants, then makes its way to the warmer latitudes of Washington and New York. A paleontologist works together with military units to try to kill it.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

0803: The Mole People

MST3k, Experiment #0803

Here is terror to shatter your nerves! The Mole People.

So it starts out with an archaeological team in the 50's that stumbles upon this underground civilization of a lost dynasty of sumerians, who have apparently failed to evolve over the past 5,000 years. The plot becomes a but fuzzy here, but pretty much only three people survive. The albinos decide to sacrifice these three survivors, but they escape. One of them dies, but the other two (Dr. Bentley and Dr. Belamin) escape by shining a flash light in the albinos and mole people's faces. Wait- who are these mole people? They are mutant humanoid mole-type creatures that are the mistreated slaves of the albinos and resemble the sand people from Star Wars. Just like the albinos, living underground has made them highly sensitive to light. Anyways, the sumerian priest believes that the flashlight is the sacred fire of their goddess, Ishtar. They come to believe that Bentley and Belamin are messengers of Ishtar. They give Bentley a slave, a beautiful woman named Adad who is shunned by the albinos because of her tan skin. Of course, she and Bentley fall in love and he says she can come with him if they ever get out.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

0802: The Leech Woman

MST3k, Experiment #0802

Forever young! Forever deadly! She lived off the life blood of male victims! The Leech Woman.

When a very old African woman offers an ambitious endocrinologist the secret of eternal youth, he decides to take his estranged and no-longer-young-and-beautiful wife along with him on the safari. But then she finds out the true reason for their sudden reconciliation is so that she can serve as his guinea pig. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially one with a stolen pineal gland tapper. But once you try Nipe, there's no going back.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

0801: Revenge of The Creature

MST3k, Experiment #0801

Weird Monster Escapes! Terror Seizes City! ...a woman's beauty the lure for his dangerous desires! Revenge of The Creature.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon is back! This time he's captured by scientists and transported to an aquarium in south Florida. Naturally, he's attracted to the lovely female scientist and manages to escape and kidnap her, heading to Jacksonville, presumably to catch a Jaguars game.

Friday, September 17, 2010

0706: Laserblast

MST3k, Experiment #0706

Billy was a kid who got pushed around... Then he found the power. Laserblast.

Alien creatures kill a mutated alien creature in the California desert. Its remains, and the high-tech laser gun and power source accidentally left behind, are found by an ostracized teenager. However, the power source causes the teenager to mutate too, and he goes on a murderous rampage.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

0705: Escape 2000

MST3k, Experiment #0705

The first to die were the lucky ones. Escape 2000.

A vicious corporation tries to kill and starve the last remaining habitants of the Bronx in order to build their own high-rise developments. A lone long-haired hot-tempered warrior, Trash, is the only obstacle well, him, a psychopathic bomb-maker and his equally psychopathic pre-school son, an annoying activist help him out, by kidnapping "the President" (of the corporation), a Richard Dreyfuss look-a-like.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

0704: The Incredible Melting Man

MST3k, Experiment #0704

The first new horror creature. The Incredible Melting Man.

"You've never seen anything til you've seen the Sun through the rings of Saturn," exclaims Alex Rebar. Apparently, somehow this causes him to start melting and eating people, such as a nurse in the tightest fitting nurse's outfit ever, a nerdy fisherman, a horny old couple who simply can't keep their hands off each other in a car. To save the day comes Doctor Ted Nelson!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

0703: Deathstalker and The Warriors From Hell

MST3k, Experiment #0703

Slaying His Rivals Isn't The Problem. Keeping Them Dead Is! Deathstalker and The Warriors From Hell.

The third thrilling saga of Deathstalker pits him against the evil wizard and ruler of the Southland, Troxartes, and his band of undead warriors. Dashing Deathstalker is entrusted by the beautiful Princess Carissa to protect an enchanted Jewel one of three which together hold the key to the lost city of treasure, Erendor. The missing pair of gems are stashed all too safely in the heavily guarded castle of the wicked Troxartes. His mission clear, Deathstalker rouses his troops and storms the fortress with the power of lightning. And in this fateful battle, one man will survive to witness the magical secrets of Erendor.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

0702: The Brute Man

MST3k, Experiment #0702

SHORT:
The Chicken of Tomorrow. We learn what is being done today to create the Chicken of Tomorrow. With a side mention of just how gosh darn important gas stations and oil are to the poultry industry.

No woman was safe from his crushing arms... The Brute Man.

Hal Moffat who is taking wholesale revenge by murdering those he holds responsible for his predicament, is befriended by Helen Paige, a blind piano teacher, and he develops a warmth for her that leads him to add thievery and robbery - no big deal, he is out there anyway - to his murders so that she can be provided with the money for an operation.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

0701: The Night of The Blood Beast

MST3k, Experiment #0701

SHORT:
Once Upon A Honeymoon. A songwriter's wife, frustrated about not having sex with her husband for a year after marriage, fantasizes about new home decor with matching colored phones, with the help of a fey bespectacled angel.

No girl was safe as long as this head-hunting thing roamed the land! The Night of The Blood Beast.

An astronaut returns from space dead. The base that recovered him is then cut off from the outside world by an alien. The revival of the dead astronaut, the death of a scientist, and the discovery of alien embryos inside the resurrected astronaut's body bodes ill for the survival of those trapped at the base and the rest of humanity.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

MOV: This Island Earth

MST3k, Experiment #MOV

The supreme excitement of our time! This Island Earth.

Dr. Meacham is chosen along with others by the inhabitants of the planet Metaluna to do research that will help save their dying planet. However, an evil scheme is uncovered by the suspecting Dr. Meacham when he discovers the Metalunan's plan to take over Earth. Dr. Meacham then escapes an exploding Metalunan built Earth lab along with Dr. Adams only to be kidnapped while flying away in a small plane. A flying saucer wisks both the scientists off to Metaluna where they are held accountable for blowing up the Metalunan Earth lab during their escape. They later escape there with the help of Exeter the friendly Metalunan. Metaluna then self destructs and the Doctors make it safely back to Earth, which is saved from Metalunan invasion.

Labour Day

Here's a poem I wrote about my misfortune in finding lunch today.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

0624: Samson Vs. The Vampire Women

MST3k, Experiment #0624

Solo un hombre de acero...de agilidad de pantera, es capaz de luchar contra las MUJERES VAMPIRO...y ese hombre es...SANTO! Samson Vs. The Vampire Women.

The vampire women in Mexico have awakened from their sleep, commanded by their master, The Evil One, to find him a bride. They choose as their target the beautiful daughter of a local professor. To rescue his daughter, the professor calls El Santo (Samson in some US versions), a silver-masked wrestler for justice.

Friday, September 03, 2010

0623: The Amazing Transparent Man

MST3k, Experiment #0623

SHORT:
The Days of Our Years. Another Union Pacific short, this time a preacher talking about avoiding work accidents and providing three examples to ram home his message like a blowtorch to the eyeballs. As Mike points out, the main causes of workplace accidents are, apparently, joy, sex, and old age.

The Most Amazing Picture Of The Year! He's Invisible! He's Deadly! The Amazing Transparent Man.

Paul Krenner, an ex-major with delusions of grandeur, has forced scientist Peter Ulof to develop a radiation-based technique to turn men invisible, with which process he plans to create an invisible army to sell to the highest bidder. He busts safecracker Joey Faust out of prison and forces him to undergo the invisibility treatment so he can steal more radium to further the experimentation. Plans go awry when Faust discovers there is a side-effect to the invisibility treatments he didn't count on.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

0622: Angels Revenge

MST3k, Experiment #0622

Seven super sexy girls take on the bad guys in an explosion of wild action, crazy stunts, and loads of laughs! Angels Revenge.

Meet six women and a teenage girl who never expected to risk their lives fighting for justice. A schoolteacher had seen one too many kids succumb to drugs. A Las Vegas entertainer learned her brother had been beaten by a drug pusher. A martial arts teacher knew how insidious drugs were among children. A top model knew that drugs were destroying her life. A stunt driver was in shock when her brother overdosed - on drugs! Add a nosy schoolgirl and a policewoman with a perm, and you've got the Angels Brigade. These women (and the girl, too) are sexy, smart - and dangerous! Just ask the right-wing militia these ladies have destroyed. But the evil fat cats pushing drugs to kids? Not even they are a match for these vengeful vixens. They just say POW! to drug pushers.