Monday, December 10, 2012

Live-Beefing LOST: Season 2, Disc 1

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't watched LOST, you may be confused or apathetic about the following post. Please go watch the series through at least once before bothering with my writings. Thank you.

s02e01 - Man Of Science, Man Of Faith

Of all the season premiers, this may have been the most excitingly anticipated. Oh hey, it's Desmond. I really want to have a hatch like that. That place has everything... and I really like the style of design. Neat little angles and retro stuff. And bunk beds!! I remember people watching this, wondering if they were watching the right show... until the little explosion here. That's when we find out that, oh, this is all what's in the hatch. Some guy with an exercise bike.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42... I think Jack's taking this "de-facto leader" thing a little too seriously. In flashback, Shannon's dad just nearly killed Jack's future wife and even more future ex-wife. "She said she has to dance at her wedding." Oh great, the dog ran off again. If that isn't a recurring theme... Now Jack is berating Locke about destiny. Also a recurring theme. They drag that argument on another 2-3 seasons until Jack finally gives in. Oh right, Shannon sees wet Walt in the middle of the jungle, speaking backwards or something. Now I have to look up what he said, because I don't remember. Off I go to Lostpedia. Oh yeah, it was "Don't push the button. Button bad."

Geez Kate, why WOULDN'T Locke want to get down into the hatch so Quick sum-up of the prior season's finale by Locke. Hooray for exposition! "Really? Wow. Usually you're like Mr Ha-ha." Finally, Hurley explains the numbers and his "curse" to someone personally. "You were in a psych ward?" Yeah, Jack has horrible bedside manners. It doesn't get much better either. Jack, the destroyer of hope. Oh man, it would have been great if Jack just gave the exact same speech as before... "If we can't live... together..." Uh, yeah Arnst blew up, sorry Charlie. Yeah! You're not the boss of me, Jack!

Woah, Kate isn't gonna stay in one spot for more than five minutes?! What a shocker. Where have I seen Sarah's prior fiancée before?! Whelp, this is what IMDB is for... Ally McBeal. Okay, that's kind of sad that I recognized some random guy from an Ally McBeal episode. Oh yeah, send Kate down first. I suppose she is lighter. Apparently not light enough though. "Well okay then..." Okay now THAT is more of a tower of light like we see in the time-travel future-past.

Great, now Jack is off to join the hatch party. Well, no Kate OR Locke, so he might as well go in too. Desmond runs stairs faster than Jack. He also doesn't trip and fall quite as much. Jack sounds so white when he says "brother"... "See you in another life, yeah?" People had a field day with that line. The magnet wall... I like the magnet wall. Kate quietly shouting for Jack in the background... and now Locke is at gunpoint. I really would love to live in a hatch like this. Okay, so I really don't get what Jack ever saw in Sarah. I'm not a fan of hers, honestly. She always just seemed so superficial. Even in the wedding scenes and toasts and speeches and all that, she just seemed very shallow. I guess the sex must have been good or something.

s02e02 - Adrift

Michael's said "Walt!" a good 6000 times already this episode, and we're only a minute into it. Oh good, he's unconscious now. Phew. Now for Locke's perspective of the hatch sequence. Despite being mildly annoyed that we only got the story in small fragments, I still have always enjoyed and loved how they broke up what actually happens in the hatch. Hey look! It's the guy from Warehouse 13 as the sheister lawyer! Wow, an honest sheister lawyer. That's different. "Walt! Walt! Walt! They took my son!"

Ew, I bet Locke's socks are getting all wet and squishy. Hey, a Dharma logo! Yeah, this hatch is a pretty sweet set-up. Shark! Can we get back to the hatch please? Sawyer is great and all, but I really don't care about anything Michael has to say here. Oh well, I guess it is his episode after all, what with the flashbacks and everything. That lawyer lady needs to open her mouth when she talks. She keeps saying "Mr Dershern" instead of Dawson. Yep, Sawyer's awesome. Ow. Okay, that hurts just thinking about it... but at least the bullet's out. "What did one snowman say to the other snowman?" Kate? Be a good girl? Yeah right.

Now Jack's off to join the hatch party... again. Claire found Charlie's heroin statue. That won't come back to haunt him at all. Back to the Michael/Sawyer argument. "What are you gonna do? Splash me?" I'm fairly certain this is the same board room where Claire almost signed away her baby... Also, Michael's ex needs better bangs. They look flat and it doesn't look that good on her. Poor Michael. When he's not being annoying or shouting for Walt, he has a pretty tragic story and I feel kinda bad for him. Kate, however, I don't feel bad for. She got herself into any and all of her own trouble. No pity there. Ooo, the food room. I want a gigantic jar of olives... and an Apollo bar. There we go talking about the sickness again. And John's first time pushing the button. I bet he feels proud. "That would be Jack."

Oh this scene again! Maybe we'll get some resolution to it! Jack's berating Locke yet again about destiny... oh and the scene ends the same place it did before, and sends us back to Michael. I hate you, Lost. Oh the Dharma shark again! Aww, they shot it. Oh well. It had a good run. "We're home." Oh no! Jin is being chased by the Others! Wait, one of those others looks an awful lot like Libby.

s02e03 - Orientation

Alright, I have hot dogs and chips, and I'm ready for episode 3. Eko just beat up Michael, Sawyer and Jin. I really don't know why anyone would eat any hot dogs but beef. Oh THIS scene again... "You want your damn thirty dollars back?! I want my kidney back!" Oh how I love a good Locke episode! Yay, Helen! She's a great character, and it's sad things never worked out between the two of them... unless you count the post-death flash sideways of course. Oh way to go... You just shot the computer that saves the world. "We're all gonna die."

It looks like the hatch needs a bit of a tech upgrade. Locke's dad just told him he's not wanted. Man, he doesn't just GIVE Locke a complex, he piles as much on as he can. "We saved the world together for a while, and that was lovely..." I love the Dharma orientation films. I want a DVD of JUST Dharma orientation films. Yeah better luck next time Hurley. Back to the hostages... Eko just threw Ana Lucia into the pit with Michael, Jin and Sawyer.

Now for the video! Chang is Dr. Marvin Candle on this one. Ah the DeGroots... There's a name that came from the "Where Is Alvar Hanso?" game from between seasons. I miss all the viral stuff that this show had early on. I love that he refers to the huge computer system as a "microcomputer processor"... Micro, sure. "We're going to need to watch that again."

Leela's so good to John. If only he hadn't been so obsessed with his dad. Ana Lucia is waking up... now for the annoyance to start. I dislike her so much. "They took my son." One annoying character meets another. Lost! Aw crap, the computer's fried AND the power is out now. Oh well. So, if he had a failsafe key this whole time, why did he even run off? It would have saved us a whole season or two... Actually, if Kelvin had just turned the key in the first place, it would have saved us 6 seasons. So I guess it's probably for the best that they didn't just turn the key now. "What am I supposed to do?"

"That's why it's called a leap of faith, John." Uh oh, Hurley found the food. I still want a huge jar of olives. "Ngummingaowt!" That's what the subtitle for Ana Lucia should have been. She annoys me. A lot. Desmond actually has a really good memory... of course, I remember random extras from Ally McBeal, but that's not the point. Also, I guess Jack is one of the last people Desmond was in contact with before he got stranded on an island for years. I'm sure that sort of thing would stick into a person's mind quite well. I need more ice cream. For once, Sayid is very logical in his priorities. You can tell me WHY I need to fix this thing after it's fixed. No biggie. I'd like to see Jack think like that. Uh oh, Hurley recognizes the numbers. Okay Locke, now's not the time to be fighting over who should push the button this time. "This argument is irrelevant." Thank you Sayid. "It's never been easy!" I guess that's why it's called a leap of faith.

s02e04 - Everybody Hates Hugo

Hurley is in a world of food! Poor Hurley always gets put in charge of the food. Whose idea was that anyways?!? Hey, let's put the fat guy in charge of the food distribution. "Have a cluckety-cluck-cluck day, Hugo." Yeah Ana Lucia is annoying. Sawyer, however, is awesome. So is Hurley's mom! She's one of my favourite recurring characters. "Yes, it IS Jesus... He wants to know what colour car you want!" At least Hurley tells the one perfect person about the hatch. If there was anyone who is worth telling, it would be Rose.

The dentist has a sweet tooth. Okay, that makes sense. DJ Qualls! He's so perfect as Hurley's best friend. I don't think they could have cast anyone else to fit as comfortably into that role. And of course, a one Mr. Randy Nations. We all hate Randy Nations. Yeah, trying to secretly shadow Locke is kind of pointless. Why is Sayid even TRYING to break through the magnet wall?! That seems a little stupid, if you ask me. It's humming and magnetic, yes, let's try to bust through and see what it is! Man, someone really needs to shoot Ana Lucia.

Do you really think telling Charlie is the best idea? That was kind of sloppy, Locke. "Drive Shaft, more like Suck Shaft." Starla's hot... She was hot in The Mighty Ducks too... and everything else she's ever been in. Like my BED!!! BAM!!! Yeah maybe there's a REASON they poured concrete all around this magnetic thing... It's probably not the best thing to go bashing at it, trying to get to it. Well, if there's one thing Kate's good at, it's taking a shower. Some Libby cleavage for the ladies... I mean, men. Whatever.

Well, if you're going to bring bad news to someone, it's best to bring a dog and a baby along to soften to blow. Speaking of blowing, Hurley's gonna blow himself up some foods. I love Hurley... Despite what the title says, everybody loves Hugo. And Rose. Everybody loves Rose too. It would have been funny if they had used the same island extras for the parking lot news crowd. Then people would wonder what the tall striped-shirt blonde chick was doing there... and it would have added confusion to the show!! Because that's what this show needed more of: confusion... and boobs. Lots more boobs.