Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Live-Beefing LOST: Season 3, Disc 5

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't watched LOST, you may be confused or apathetic about the following post. Please go watch the series through at least once before bothering with my writings. Thank you.

s03e21 - Greatest Hits

Okay, finally getting to the end of season 3. Technically, I need to stitch up the lining of my coat, but I'm taking a break from that to do this. Running through the jungle... reminds me of that Creedence song "Born On A Bayou"... Luckily, there's only 3 episodes on this disc, so I can resume sewing after this. Where were we? Oh yes, the Juliet tapes and the dynamite from Rousseau. Got it. Jack's plan should go swimmingly, unless Kate screws it all up somehow.

Yay! Charlie flashbacks! I am still SO very upset that they never ever released a full-length version of You All Everybody. That was a very very missed opportunity on their part. Especially for a show with such immense viral marketing like this one had. "Look on the bright side. You're not REALLY dead." Poor Charlie. He had become such a fan favourite by this point. The island has wanted him dead since day one. Why do people like swimming?! Never could figure that out. Why people like to so much that is... the swimming I know how to do. I figured that out years ago. I wonder if they had any of this in mind back when Hurley first found the cable into the ocean... or if they just planted that cable and figured they'd come up with something later. I'm kind of figuring the latter. Aww, a wonderful Jin and Sun scene! They really are one of the only truly fantastic couples on this show. Even when there's conflict and drama, you still just want them together. Karl!

Alex is so cute! ...even with blood all over her hands! Ooo, a rare in-episode "just happened" flashback. They don't normally do that. "And that's what happened to bring me here." It's a touch of a retcon that the DS on the ring stood for a family member and that's where the initials for Drive Shaft came from... You could claim that it's not a retcon since they never fully explained it before, but yeah... it's a retcon. It's too much of a stretch for it to NOT be.

Nadia finds herself in some odd situations. Wait, she was being mugged and she still kept count of the amount of people walking by? She's some math genius. I don't know; I've never been mugged. I just assume you'd be paying a bit more attention to trying to not be mugged. I could be wrong though. "I like you better since you got back, Jack. You're almost an optimist." Sayid's right, Jack... You trek through the jungle, and let Sayid do the dirty work. Awww, poor Hurley! This scene is so sad! It's like that scene in Harry And The Hendersons all over again!!

"Here we go again." Yeah, no kidding! Charlie meeting Claire... so sweet! This is a bit of a sappy sweet episode. I always called these episodes the "calm before the storm" episodes, before things all went crazy for the season finales. TKO for Charlie! Way to use that oar! And off he goes to his demise. I quite like that hatch... I think if I were Dharma and/or an Other, I'd want to be stationed there... or the Swan. The Swan is cozy. Oh but there's chicks here. I'll take this one!

s03e22-23 - Through The Looking Glass

"We have to go back!!!" ... Wait, am I getting ahead of the show?!? Poor bearded Jack. The Island just kept him from trying to kill himself. "I am a dentist. I am not Rambo." Rose and Bernard are also one of the great couples on this show, although they get easily forgotten by fans because they don't involve themselves much in the drama.

Charlie is being held hostage by a violent blonde chick and the evil queen from Once Upon A Time. I'm sure he's enjoying it. "Charlie says hi!" Ben lied?!? What?!?! Shock. I'd say this plan is going well... only not so much. Oh crap, they have Jin. Maybe they only needed two explosions! No Rose, he won't say that to you... Kate is the one who keeps saying that phrase. Jack only said it once, and even then he used the modifiers that make the phrase MAKE FUCKING SENSE. Okay sorry, random burst of anger. But the phrase "Live together, die alone" kind of implies that you will die alone no matter what, so we might as well live together anyways... Like you plan to live together and then die alone. And that's utterly retarded. Now if the modifier "or" was maybe tossed in, like for instance "Live together or die alone" then maybe it would both be grammatically correct and make a bit of sense. The comma pause pretty much implies "and" not "or"... Roar!!! Way to spill everything Bernard. Luckily it only resulted in a few deaths, and not a lot.

Kate's harping at Sawyer again... She's kinda shrill in this scene. Mikhail's shooting at Desmond now. Good fun. The chicks are arguing... CAT FIGHT!!! Wooo!!! Charlie can annoy anyone by singing. Useful. Man is this shit over yet?! I have a coat to mend! I feel kinda bad for this other surgeon guy. He doesn't quite realize what he stumbled into, and then he gets shouted at by Jack. Gary Nadler? Any relation to Bernard?!?!? I bet there is. Nothing is that coincidental on this show. They had to have given the surgeon that name for a reason.

Good timing Mikhail! Just saved Desmond's life! Hmmm, for once Ben's kinda right in his bullshitting. Oh Jack, don't try to make Kate feel better about what Sawyer said... She'll just end up thinking that he really wants her to follow and then she'll run off to ruin Sawyer's attempt at rescue! Good foresight, having a runway built for the Ajira plane. Oh hey, Locke is alive. Tall Walt doesn't want him to kill himself. The Island still has some use for him yet! This is one thing I kinda wish would have been better explained... Is that Walt from AFTER "The New Man In Charge" somehow using the Island's power to project himself there? I doubt it's the smoke monster, considering he usually uses dead people's forms. After all, Walt's special.

Gee, I wonder who's in the casket. I bet it's Jeremy Bentham. Ooo, Mikhail is a bit of a dissenter. I like him. "Hi, I'm Benjamin. I don't believe we've had the pleasure!" Jack's kind of a junkie. How does Ben expect anyone to ever believe a word he says? Oh no! They shot the hostages!! I can't believe they did that!!! Roar!!! I live how she told Charlie "Good Vibrations" but didn't tell him what PART of the song, yet he somehow knew? That song is modular... it has like 8 different movements. Any musician knows that! Why couldn't they pick something simple and believable like Beautiful Dreamer? Maybe it always annoyed me because I would have impulsively picked a whole different section of Good Vibrations than the one Charlie did.

Jack seems a bit upset. WHAAAA?!?!? You mean they DIDN'T mercilessly slaughter 3 main characters off screen!??!?! What a shock. I never saw that coming... or the van. Okay, so the van originally was a bit of a surprise, but it's fun! Poor Tom. I liked Tom. Everyone liked Tom... That's the one thing I never really liked Sawyer for doing. Sure, I get the vengeance for the kid thing, but it was still a bit cruel. It wasn't Tom's fault to begin with, and Sawyer knew that. "Yeah dude, I told you. I saved them all." I love Hurley. Cholly isn't back yet though.

Yeah see, I would have chosen the CHORUS to Good Vibrations, not the coda. He didn't even pick the damn bridge! Grrr... YAY! Penny!!! Dammit Charlie, swim through the porthole! You can fit! I can fit! Hell, even HURLEY can fit!! This would be even more sad if there wasn't a PERFECTLY REASONABLE ESCAPE ROUTE RIGHT BEHIND YOU! I guess maybe he just felt he had nothing to live for... Maybe he just needed an escape from the whining nasally blonde with the kid. Avoiding responsibility and commitment in the best way possible: death.

Alright, French signal off, phone working, it's all good from here! No more death from now on! Only rescue and happiness!! Oh wait, Naomi's been stabbed in the back. Okay from HERE on out, there's no more death. Just 3 seasons of heart-warming rescue left to watch. Everyone goes home, is re-united with their families, and everyone is happy. I love this show.

I wonder who Jack is talking to in this what is obviously a flashback. I bet it's his ex-wife. He's really distraught over the death of his best friend Jeremy Bentham, whoever that is. And here comes his ex-wife in her car, to meet him at the airport. Wait, it's Kate?!? They knew each other before the crash!??!? Maybe they've both been in on it all along! They work for the Others!! "Why did you call me, Jack?" He didn't, he called you Kate. Wait, this couldn't possibly be from AFTER the crash! A flash FORWARD?!? That's impossible. This show only does flashbacks. It's their thing. They would never stray from those ever. Oh, wait, never mind. Yes they would. My whole belief system is now shaken, and I have nothing more to live for.

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